Hmmm...

Went to the party store to look for ladybug stuff... didn't find much, wandered to the baby aisle. They were remodeling, so it was empty. Symbolic much? But it was okay, because the radio cut in, "There's only one way, to say, those three words. That's what I'll do. I love you." I lifted my head, smiled, and walked through it.

What if...

What if I created over 100 blogs...? ... (day dreams)

I want to make a new one already, where people could write in and ask for suggestions about their life, where people could find resources for solving their problems. Not that I have everything figured out yet (obviously)... (thinking some more)

I think it's that I feel really empowered to change my life, and I wish I could share that.

After all of these posts, I really only have 1 part of my daily life figured out - general cleaning and dinners.

I get home, and I pick up my main 3 areas. It now takes me about 5 minutes. Then we do dinner and dishes together. So, I've changed 2 hours of my day.

And I'm a different person. Already it's becoming habit. It's at the point where I don't dread it any more, it's just part of my day. It's like getting up and brushing my teeth.

It didn't always work like that, and I think I figured out why with help from the counselor. She said that we have to do what works for us, literally. Seems simple, but it's not at all. I tend to make big changes that drastically affect our lives, without taking into consideration mine or Mark's lifestyle.

I think it's key to make small changes that actually fit into our lives. And it's so hard to figure out what those changes are until we try them.

The counselor couldn't believe how much happier we seemed - after just 2 weeks of changing our evening routine. The funny thing is that, the point was to just get dinner, dishes, and cleaning done, but it turned into the perfect way to spend time together, and a time to recognize that each one of us was contributing to the household. It made us a better couple in just 2 weeks.

So now I'm working on tweaking other areas of our lives. Already, I've exercised every day this week. It's been tricky, but it is working. I'm not sure I've found the perfect place for exercising in my routine right now, but it's close, and I feel like I have the power to change and adapt to make my life exactly what I want it to be.

Things That Make Me Feel Loved 2

The other night, I came home and made a simple but nice dinner for us.

While I was getting things ready (in my clean kitchen, yeah!), Mark came in and chatted with me, and we talked about our work days. It was a fun, relaxing dinner-making experience.

Ever since I started this life order plan, I've become an insane cooking/cleaning robot - kind of like the robot maid on the Jetson's... What was her name? Ooh, I remember! Rosie!! Yep, like her. If something gets dirty, I wheel over and clean it.

Side thought: Maybe all I've done is absorb the chaos that used to be in my apartment! It had to go somewhere right?? Isn't that Newton's Law of Motion? Yes, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. No, no, maybe it's more like stored or potential energy. [Using my mind to time-travel back to my high school Physics class, but unfortunately it's the day that we're learning about convex and concave lenses... No use. Well, I'm sure it's applicable on some level or in some metaphorical way but... I'm suddenly distracted by Ben, my cute lab partner... Hmmm...]

Anyway! I know that this turns Mark's world upside down. His things are moved, and his life is all of a sudden being overtaken by me. Sure, it's more organized, but things aren't where he left them.

So, that night, I made dinner and went into general freak-out mode trying to get the main dish finished at the same time as the sides. I finally had everything cooked, ready to eat, and thought, "I didn't set the table! Or get drinks! Or, or... or..." I turned around, and...

The table was set, our drinks ready too, and Mark was standing there with his plate, ready to dig in. That's 2!

I know I'm acting crazy right now... Finding life order is surprisingly hectic, but to turn around and see that not only had he appreciated everything I've done, he even contributed to my ultimate quest for life order!

What it comes down to is, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if all of this is my way of coping with loss, or my way of grieving... And if I don't know what I'm doing, he definitely doesn't know what I'm doing. But it didn't matter - he jumped in anyway.

If this was a real quest, back in the days of knights and dragons, and I was a crazy knight, he would most definitely be my loopy sidekick... the one who followed me into the dark, evil forest, who returned with me by his side and said... (Hmm, what would he say?) Probably, "That was a really bad idea..."

*Yuuuuummm!!*

I'm a ravenous, chocolate-eating machine!!!

*Yaaaaaaaaaawn*

So I'm serious about this exercise plan. I have a few options:

I am going to *try* to walk every day at lunch. (I did today!)
If that fails, I'll have to do something at home.
At home, I can plan to do something outdoors - a walk, or go swimming.

If those things Fail, I have an "Exercise Escape Plan":

This involves stretching while watching TV. Our company's ergonomics guy said that this is OK to do, especially to take a break from exercising some nights and just do some stretching. Hmm, that sounds like a good plan for tonight - just some stretching. Probably not good to start my exercise routine with only stretching. Haha!

I know one thing for sure - if I'm going to do this, I have to implement it into one of the activities I already do (in case I don't have time). I usually get in from work and watch TV while doing more work for freelance clients. Maybe on nights with no freelance work, I can exercise during that time.

I wonder if YouTube has any fun exercise videos! Never thought of that! :-)

And maybe it would help to have an actual checklist that I check off every day for all my tasks. I really love the "Awesome Note" app for the iPod Touch or iPhone. I might start using that more. Maybe something on the blog too... off to investigate some NEW things!

Losing Momentum

So I have to say that as well as things are going, I am slightly losing momentum for this project. The thing is that, it's working right now. I've reached some level of satisfaction in what I was trying to achieve, so my brain is ready to move on to a new project.

I think the only solution is to take on a new part of the plan (maybe the exercise part), though I'm not very inspired by that idea.

The problem is that my life is still far from orderly. In fact, this morning I woke up late and had to implement the 20-minute get-ready plan!

Here are a few tips if you find yourself in the same predicament!
First, try to figure out which morning tasks you can do at the same time as other tasks. Maybe you can condition your hair while washing your face or go to the bathroom while brushing your teeth.

Personally, I tend to brush my teeth while doing lots of things, like picking out my clothes, etc.

It's also absolutely necessary to jump in the shower and wash your hair. If needed, you can skip conditioning, shaving your legs (make sure you have pants to wear), and washing your face and body. It's not ideal, but it'll do in a pinch. I've minimized my shower routine to 5 minutes! And no foul odors! Saves water too!

Skip breakfast (unfortunately). Once at the office, you can sip on coffee or water, or sneak out to grab a quick snack. Plan on buying lunch that day. You most likely won't have time to make a sandwich!

Throw on some clothes... just about anything will do. Today I found myself in the parking lot at work wearing a tank top that fits more like a sports-bra - not exactly work appropriate. Luckily I keep a spare sweatshirt in the car. It will be a little toasty around high Noon when the sun is beaming on the aluminum siding of our office building, but it'll keep Sam in IT from having a hot flash when you bump into him in the hallway sporting some serious cleavage.

If you don't have time to dry your hair, keep a headband or hair ties on hand. A quick pony tail will do. If you have bangs that curl, like I do, you may want to take the extra 2 minutes to blow dry each side of your bangs - just the front, a minute on each side. You may still appear a little frazzled (you will be), but it's better than strolling in looking like a rabid seagull flew into your car and attempted to mate with your forehead.

If needed, freshen up at the office. Throw on some makeup and try to make "frazzled" look "fun". It helps to toss your hair back and laugh or just act busy. Supervisors like that.

A Little Help Please!

So, everything has been just swell around the house! As previously mentioned, the cooking and cleaning tasks are going really well. I've been able to do my 3 main cleaning tasks each day, which has helped tremendously. Exercise is the one thing I really need to try to work into my schedule this week. Except for our few walks and running around the kitchen cooking like a maniac, we haven't done much else.

I have to say, though, just figuring out a few things in my schedule has made other parts of my life fall into place. I highly recommend that other people reorganize their lives from time to time.

By making time for dinner, we've had more time to sit and talk. It's been great for our relationship. After dinner, he helps me with the dishes. A chore that would usually take me 20-25 minutes now takes just 10! And it's just more fun to do any task with good company!

Sometimes when he's running around helping me, he looks almost terrified. I'm pretty sure he's scared that I'll either stop cooking meals or go into freak-out mode because he's not sufficiently contributing to my insane plan for life order.

He says he simply appreciates all I've done and wants to make it easier on me. Whatever the reason, it does make me feel appreciated, and I'm not going to give up on this plan, especially with his support!

Saturday!

Just a quick update - I'm enjoying my Saturday and don't want to ruin it by thinking too much. :-)

The house is still looking great! I haven't done exceptionally well with my schedule - I've only really kept up with my 3 main tasks - keeping the kitchen clean, as well as the tables and living room. And surprisingly it's great!! It's the first step in my plan that's working!

To keep progressing, I'll have to take on some more tasks, but for now, I'm happy!

Overall it was a great week! I got out to take some photos - uploading one with this post. I made more meals, went out for a few walks, and got to spend more time with my husband too.

I can't complain! Goal for next week - exercising more!

My Hairbrush!

I don't have a lot of time to post today. But it doesn't matter. I've pinpointed one thing in my life that I needed to change, and changing it has made a world of difference.

It's my hairbrush!! Of all things. How many mornings have I been up bright and early, ready to take on the day, then had to spend 25 minutes looking for my hairbrush? Too many!

And do you know what that meant for the day?? Not just messy hair, but late to work, no breakfast, and an all-around OFF day.

Well, no more!! Every time I use my hairbrush, I put it back in a basket where I keep my hairdryer and straightener. Just my hairbrush.

We'll talk about the keys later... For now, I've saved myself 25 minutes of stress in the morning!

Dear Abby

This morning Dear Abby posted responses to a letter from a previous writer about working hard versus hardly working.

The original writer was a supervisor who felt there was a lack of effort in the work place, that her employees were spending too much time away from work attending school/family functions and beauty-related appointments. "Abby" wrote back to let her know that as long as people were using their allotted personal time to take care of personal matters, she didn't see a problem. [It's personal time, and quite frankly, the supervisor should mind her own business about how they're using that time.]

Many people wrote to defend the employees as well, but others agreed with the supervisor--that there was a lack of effort in the workforce today.

Only one person brought up the fact that most work places have different generations working together, and that their ideas about integrating work life and personal life are also different.

This reminded me of two of my previous coworkers - "S" (a secretary in her 50s) and "R" (a designer in her 20s). S came in every single day at 8:30am and never stopped working for a minute. If there was nothing to do in terms of office work, she would clean or organize. She was always on top of every project, very rarely had a doctor's appointment, and the office could not function without her. She would stay until at least 6pm even if there was nothing left for her to do, and she didn't get paid overtime. She was overworked and stressed.

R possessed all the same qualities, except she arrived at the office at 7am, stepped out for a coffee break or appointment about 11, and went for an hour-long run in the afternoon. She worked quickly and would leave promptly at 5 or stay later when needed. She was one of our strongest employees who worked as much if not more overtime than S, without overtime pay. She was available for the clients all day, adapted to their schedule, but also integrated her personal time into her work day. She was physically and emotionally healthy too.

The supervisor (a woman in her 50s) constantly compared R and the other designers to S, saying that none of them worked as hard as S did. It was also expected that we would put in overtime "even if there really wasn't anything to do..." because it "looked better to the boss."

A friend was told the exact same thing almost word-for-word at the company where she worked: "Just stay until 6:00 each night, even if you don't have anything to do. It looks like you're busy." And, "Try to be up and moving around in the afternoon, looking busy."

Her response, "I'm too busy to get up, walk around the office, and pretend to be busy." Also, "pretending to be busy" seems much less important than starting an hour commute to get home and spend time with family.

The older generation literally wanted us to create the illusion of being busy. That was more important than spending time with family or in some cases actually getting the work done!

I know that a few design magazines have addressed the issue of different generations in the workplace. I even gave one of the articles to my previous supervisor who must have been "too busy" to read it. I can only hope that eventually more people will become aware of this problem. And I'm proud of our generation for knowing how important it is to balance work and family time.

As I write this, one of our employees is playing a sound clip on their computer of someone whistling--a casual little tune rising above the "cube-farm". It seems fitting.

Where are my Readers?

 
So, according to my blogger web stats, I have 327 viewers. Some of these viewers may actually just be me viewing my blog multiple times, but I also have some viewers who are not me (in Canada and France).

Please feel free to follow me on Twitter, or send me an email at: notesEG@gmail.com... I'd like to learn more about my readers!

Things That Make Me Feel Loved

So we went to the counselor the other day. Dealing with everything we're going through, I thought it would help.

She wanted me to name 3 things that Mark could do for me that I thought would make me feel loved or help me reconnect with him.

I couldn't think of one thing. I just knew I wasn't feeling like myself, that I was pushing him away, but I had no idea what I needed to help fix that.

We caught a movie on Sunday, and he shared his Junior Mints with me at the theater. I looked at him and whispered, "I love you." He said, "What??" as if he couldn't hear me. I leaned closer and whispered in his ear: "I love you." He leaned back close to me and said, "I have a confession... I heard you the first time."

Me (with butterflies in my stomach): "That's 1."

Cleaning & Exercise

Cleaning
So I know I've talked about cleaning mostly so far, but that's because it's my biggest challenge.

This week, I'm implementing a "maintenance" cleaning plan. In the First Draft of my schedule, I had set aside a half hour of cleaning time. I want to stick to that same general schedule.

In that half hour each evening, I'd like to do the following. These are The Main 3 things that will keep my apartment in order for myself and/or unexpected company:

1. Have my kitchen clean (This can happen as part of dinner/dishes time too.)
2. Clear off the dining room table/kitchen table
3. Pick up the living room

I'm hoping that will all take less than a half hour (considering I do this each night). Then maybe 3 nights each week, I add one bigger task to the list.

How about my week looks like this:
Monday - The Main 3
Tuesday - The Main 3 + Dusting
Wednesday - The Main 3
Thursday - The Main 3 + Bathroom Sink & Toilet
Friday - The Main 3
Saturday - The Main 3 + Floors
Sunday - The Main 3 + Shopping/Clean Out Fridge

Week 2 would be:
Monday - The Main 3
Tuesday - The Main 3 + Pick Up Guest Room
Wednesday - The Main 3
Thursday - The Main 3 + Bathtub
Friday - The Main 3
Saturday - The Main 3 + Pick up Bedroom
Sunday - The Main 3 + Shopping/Clean Out Fridge

This is just a start - we'll see how it evolves.

Exercise
The only thing I've figured out about exercising is that it has to be fun. We've had the most success with swimming, walking, and me personally, dancing. I'm a terrible dancer - but music is what inspires me! I love the Wii game - Just Dance, and I love learning dance moves from music videos, or just dancing like a goof with my iPod on. I'm definitely going to be working on exercise this week!

While You're Busy Making Other Plans...

Well, it was a great weekend of rest, relaxation, rowdiness, and realization!!

My sister informed me that she was arriving for the weekend early with her husband and daughter in tow. She would be at the house about 5:30, so I got out of work at 4, rushed to the grocery store to get her a cake (late birthday party), and some things for lunch - if all else failed, we could eat sandwiches!

I got to the apartment and implemented the 30-minute cleaning plan. It took a little longer though... I wanted to take on some extra tasks required for more than just a quick afternoon visit. The bathroom had to be scrubbed, kitchen cleaned, and floors swept if nothing else. I did it - and just in time for their arrival!

We had a great weekend at the beach, park, ice cream shop, and just hanging out around the house.

Most housework was left undone, except for my sister going around and helping to pick up. We spent all day Saturday laughing, playing, and dancing. My niece is almost 3 years old, and she tells the best stories. It didn't matter if the house wasn't perfect - she loved all the magnets on my fridge and my collectible cows. At one point she came into my room while I was folding some laundry.

I told her, "This is the messy room...." She looked around and assessed the situation, then smiled up at me and said, "I like messy rooms." I got a little teary eyed. After all I'd been working for... it just didn't matter to her. Not only did it not matter, she liked it. I gave her a big smile and said, "Me too."

I needed that reminder, that it's not just about getting my life together. What I'm really striving for is the time to step back and appreciate the little things. This weekend, I skipped cleaning to dance. I forgot about breakfast, so we could play music and sing. My sister and I reconnected over a table of dirty dishes after dinner.

Later we took care of everything together. My sister brought me breakfast while I was drawing pictures with her daughter. We took care of each other, so each one of us could let go and live a little.

I promise myself on this journey, I will not lose sight of what this is really about. That's part of the "realization".

The other part is maintenance. I woke up this morning knowing that I can't take on one room or one big project each night. I have to just maintain an overall sense of order in the house - not mind-numbing, sterile order, but not complete chaos either - something in between. And I can't work with a schedule - it needs to be a guide. An overall guide to being me and to doing what I want to do.

Maybe that's why the Housewife's Guide from 1955 was called a "guide". They must have been leaving room for a little chaos.

Dried Flowers

Last night I got home at a decent time and jumped right into cleaning up the apartment. I picked out a few "fun" things to do - because I like to design and organize spaces. This included clearing the table to make room for grandma's blue bowl and candle holders, picking up the living room, and organizing the shelves in the bathroom.

I also hung up Mark's cow clock that he got for his birthday - complete with a swinging tongue for a pendulum. It looked so cute over my sink, but I had to throw out the dried flowers that had been hanging there for years. They were from Mark's other grandmother's funeral. They were falling apart. They also were beginning to remind me of death, and having experienced a loss ourselves lately, I was ready to fill the house with freshness and life!

When Mark got home, he was happy to see the cow but not so happy to find the old flowers in the garbage. He picked them from the trash and spread them out on my clean table. I came out of the bathroom and saw them there... and in that moment they became more than just old, crackling, nasty, garbage-stinking flowers. They were a roadblock on the path to home organization.

I lost it.

I just broke down and cried. He got angry, and I refused to budge. The flowers had to go. I was so upset, I started cleaning angrily (not recommended). He eventually asked me to take some photos of them, so I did - and I promise to make it up to him by doing something nice with those pictures. But I can't tell you how relieved I was to get rid of the dried flowers.

It's not that I don't love and respect his things or that I don't care about the sentimental value they hold for him. It was just that, in that one moment, they were keeping me from doing what I need to do - prepare my house for a new life, a new home where we can live comfortably. I need to become the wife I was meant to be, and more than that the adult I'm supposed to be. And eventually, a mom. How can I take care of someone else if I can barely take care of myself?

Maybe all I'm doing is trying to prove to someone that I can be that person.

Dessert

I just realized something... as I finished eating my lunch. Every time I eat a meal, besides breakfast, I feel like I want dessert. And not only want, but deserve it. Why?

All I did was eat a sandwich. This must be left over from Mom's "If you eat your peas, you can have a cookie..." days.

This raises a big question for me - Does our generation feel more entitled to things we haven't really earned? I used to be able to watch TV but only after I finished my homework. Then as I became an adult, I learned very quickly that I didn't have to earn some things at all - that I could just instantly reward myself. It almost feels like I'm rebelling against my parents' reward system. Or worse - their strong work ethic.

What does this mean for the challenges I'll face implementing my routine? Will I give up if I'm not immediately rewarded for my efforts?

My hope is that the "reward" happens on a much larger scale, and that we fall into a routine that just naturally makes our lives better and gives us the time we need to do everything we want to do.

It's empowering to think that I can create that. I'm going to eat my cookie and think about it some more.

The Guide - In Preparation of His Return

The rest of the Housewife's Guide pretty much continues on about taking good care of your wonderful man (gag). I love the guy, and it does give me "immense personal gratification" to help him sometimes - but I want a little help in return.

Steps 4-5
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dishcloth over the tables.
The two of us will be implementing the "clearing away the clutter" step together, especially since we both work. In your home, you may want to assign this task to your significant other.

Step 6 Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal gratification.

If you want to give each other "a lift", by all means, feel free to light a fire. And what a bonus! Catering to him gives you all the "immense personal gratification" you'll ever need... ;-) Just for fun, I'm going to put on our "Fireside Christmas" DVD when Mark gets home tonight. It'll be a weird contrast next to the AC unit, but ah well!

Step 7
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

If you're lucky enough to have "little treasures", I do think it's nice to bring them to the dinner table with clean hands - for sanitary reasons, but I think the rest of this step can be thrown out the window - Well, maybe save the part about keeping the house quiet, especially at dinner time. That sounds nice.
_______________

One of the most significant things I'm taking away from this guide is the fact that a household runs more smoothly when a husband and wife have their own individual roles in the house. Leave behind the sexist roles of the 1950s, define your own 2010-style roles, and you might find some more order in your house! For example, I make dinner - He does the dishes. He cleans the kitchen and dining room - I scrub the bathroom. He does the laundry - I sit on the couch watching soap operas and eating Oreo cookies. ;-)

So to sum up what I've taken from these steps to add to my own guide:

Steps 4-5: Use that half-hour scheduled cleaning time to pick up clutter or take on one, easy-to-do cleaning task.
Step 6: Over the cooler months, keep a blanket on the couch to cuddle with. Reading by your TV-Fire is a nice touch during relaxation time!
Step 7: Try to keep the children clean (within reason) and quiet enough to have a family dinner together. Other than that, let your little treasures be themselves...

Perfection

So, I couldn't help but notice, after re-reading some of my posts, that I use the word "perfect" a lot.

But, really, the only thing I want out of this is fulfillment - not perfection. I want to come home at night and feel like I can live my life without worrying that I'm neglecting something or someone else. I want to have time to do everything I want to do. If that means scheduling fun time, so be it. I want to know that in that moment, I can do whatever I please. Scheduled chaos!

Sounds impossible.

Maybe it's just that I need to get my life to the point where I can completely fall off the Lysol Wagon, stop cleaning for a week, and not have my apartment completely fall apart - a schedule that I can keep up but that I can abandon and rediscover/redefine as needed.

That's my idea of "perfect" - a schedule that works for me and doesn't hold me down.

________

I went to my grandmother's house last night, and it was so put together. Everything was in its place, easy to find, and clean.

She was so organized. She even said, "Pick out something in the house to have when I die." -How's that for having your ducks in a row?

She picked out something for me - a beautiful cobalt blue glass bowl and candle holders. They were so beautiful, my nesting instincts kicked in, and I wanted to clean the entire apartment to find the perfect place for them.

It made me want to go through everything I own and get rid of all the odds and ends that just don't matter - and hold onto the really special things - another task to add to the To Do list!

The Guide - Evenings

Saturday morning, while continuing my quest for life order, I began researching some old housekeeping guides from the 1950s. Apparently one in particular has been floating around the Internet for awhile - from Housekeeping Monthly, in May of 1955.

Is there anything left to salvage from this bygone-era guide? Just in case, I want to analyze each step over the next few days.

Step 1

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, in time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Well, tonight, let's assume that my husband's favorite dish is tuna salad sandwiches. He does like them a lot. And I admit, I do like to have dinner ready for him if I get home first. It makes me feel like I'm doing something nice for him, and he always appreciates it. --In return, though, if he gets home before me, he'll make sure the kitchen is clean and dishes are done, and help with the dishes after dinner. Those are our roles.

Step 2

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch-up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Well, forget this. If we were on our way out to dinner, maybe I'd get all "fresh-looking." But at home, he'd be lucky if I hadn't already put on sweats and tied my hair into a messy bun by the time he arrived. And if he's home first, I'd be surprised if he was wearing pants when I got in. Still, I wonder if we both greeted each other at home "refreshed" - would that make a difference in our happy home? Couldn't hurt to try!

Step 3

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift, and one of your duties is to provide it.

I like to think that I'm the type of person who doesn't need to be "a little more interesting". However, we do like to take turns telling each other about our day, and we usually find that we can laugh away the big worries and focus on the important things together - offer solutions to difficult situations or just a shoulder to cry on.

I don't think this is all garbage. It just needs to be updated slightly and customized for me.

How about:

1. Try to plan meals for the week in advance. Simplify them to make evenings easier. (This step is going to be one long journey into meal preparation and kitchen efficiency.)
2. Try to look presentable when you each arrive home. (Wearing pants is preferable.)
3. Talk about your day with each other. (A great time for this would be while out for a walk or having dinner.)

Over the next few days, I'll explore more of the guide and hopefully find some more ideas for a happy home and life order!

Status Update

Yesterday our company arrived, and my apartment was in a state of overall OK-ness. It was far from perfect, but considering that it was family, I wasn't too concerned.

My kitchen and bathroom were clean, and the living room picked up.

We found time to exercise (swimming at the beach!) and have some creative, relaxing time, had dinner out with friends, and came home to relax and do some last-minute picking up.

Monday came all too soon, but I'm ready to explore some meal-planning ideas for next week. This week, money is tight, so we're having mostly soup/sandwich nights. Still, it's the perfect week for me to not worry about food and begin planning a fresh menu for the days to come.

Overall, life is pretty good.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate the following:
Food: 3
Apartment: 5
Exercising: 7
Creativity: 7

Three's Company Too!

When you have company coming to your house on short notice, it's very easy to have a complete meltdown. Trust me, I will probably have one today. Here is a quick guide to getting your apartment company- ready in about 20-30 minutes:

If you're like me, your dining room table gets messy. A quick solution - turn off the light in that room! Let your clutter lurk in the shadows. It may be a little unsettling if a guest wanders in there, but I guarantee they'll be more likely drawn to your sunny, neat rooms - like the kitchen.

In about 10 minutes, you should be able to clear off the kitchen counters and put the dishes in the sink. Even with a full sink, the clean, wiped-down counters give the kitchen a sense of cleanliness.

If you have a table that you usually use for eating instead of the formal dining room table, keep that clutter-free. You can probably clear it off and wipe it down in 5 minutes flat.

Picking up the living room and plumping the pillows is a 10-minute touch that leaves that room looking, well, livable!

It's not perfect - but it will make your home look neater in a pinch. Oh, and don't forget the bathroom! Just close the shower curtain for the time being. Wipe down the toilet. If you're only having female guests, no need to clean past the lid and seat! Pick up any extraneous things on the sink. I like to keep "his" and "hers" buckets on a high shelf in the bathroom. It's a great place to toss makeup, deodorant, and anything else that clutters the sink. If you can wipe quickly, this can be done in about 5 minutes.

Tip: Wipe down only visible counter space. If someone's only stopping by for an afternoon visit (and isn't a health inspector), they shouldn't be looking underneath candles or other decorative items in the bathroom.

Remember that - even though you may see all the little bits of dust in the corner of your bathroom floor, most likely your guests won't. Also keep in mind that elderly guests can barely see anything! They're the easiest ones to prep for!

Grocery Store

I'm proud to say that I've made it through my scheduled plans for the day!

They didn't exactly happen on time according to my schedule, but that's ok! They were done, and I feel like I made some progress today.

I did a short grocery shopping this afternoon. My ultimate plan will be to do my shopping on Sunday and get all of the food I need for the week. This will require some meal planning in the next week. I'll be looking up some new, easy recipes to try out.

Shopping can be just miserable sometimes - but I've decided that there are a few things that make it bearable. One is shopping for some new items to make a new meal that I've never made. Two is what I believe to be the key to grocery store survival - music. I listened to music on the way to the store and back. And next time, if I'm really dreading the trip, I'll have to bring my iPod in the store with me and listen while I shop.

After my shopping, I came home and made a little brunch. I whipped it up quickly though, and spilled some raw egg on the counter. I'm convinced that at the exact moment I dropped it (and yelled a very unlady-like swear word), was the exact moment my friend was standing outside our door with some fresh cut flowers for me.

I later found them on our Welcome mat when we went out for our walk. It looked like she dropped them and left in a hurry. Maybe at some point during this quest for life order, I can work on my patience and etiquette.

First Draft

Here is the first draft of my Life Order schedule...
I'm working on randomizing my activities to keep some variety in my life.

Luckily I don't have Freelance Work this evening, so I can use that time to relax!

I have a lot of work to do, and keeping myself motivated will be half the battle!

Cleaning

The apartment is in pretty good shape, but I have to clean the following before Friday:
The Kitchen/The Dining Room Table
The Living Room
The Guest Room
The Floors
The Bathroom


With company coming on Friday, I have to get started on a short-term and then long-term cleaning plan. That's 5/6 tasks over 5 days this week - should be doable.

I've put the tasks in order based on what's going on each day, i.e., Sunday I'll have more time to take on the Kitchen and Dining Room. Monday will be a long day, and the Living Room isn't too cluttered. I like to try to do the bathroom last, so it's as clean as possible before guests arrive.

After next weekend, the apartment should be at a good starting point too, and I can start on my long term cleaning schedule fresh on Monday the 19th. One very simple step at a time!

The Past and Present Me

Every once in a great while, I find a little slice of heaven... when something is right where it's supposed to be at the exact moment I need it.

I call it a gift from my Past self.

Most of my Past Me gifts are more fit for returns. I mean, "You really shouldn't have... left that milk cup on the windowsill for 2 days." But one time the gift was so great that I actually shed tears upon receiving it. I don't quite remember what it was, but it had something to do with a missing set of keys and a Milky Way bar.

The reality is that all I had done was put something back where it was supposed to be to begin with. So, by the time Future Me came around, life (or at least that small piece of it) was in order.

...And it was all as simple as putting a candy bar in my purse on Friday night for a future Monday afternoon snack, and making sure to put my keys on the key hook Sunday evening, so Monday morning I could run out the door.

It inspired me, and now I can't help but think of all the wonderful presents I could lavish on myself, if only Past Me would do something really nice for Future Me in the Present.

J's Schedule

One of the most unorganized and terrifying people I ever met in my life was telecommuter "J." When I first started at the job where I currently work, he was my mentor. And he lived, walked, and breathed chaos.

He was a *full-time* telecommuter who, while working from home, would spend countless hours of time creating long-winded emails with detailed steps intended to put me through rigorous training procedures. Then he would disappear for days on end. I began to think he was a spy for some top-secret government organization, and that he only worked at this job on his off hours.

During his absences, I almost always discovered that his training tasks were entirely unorganized and based on outdated procedures. Being a new employee, I wanted to do my best, but it was near impossible. The clients were happy to point out my mistakes, and I was left to clean up the mess myself.

Finally my supervisor suggested having J come to the office to work with me in person. The day came, and I was so nervous, preparing myself for the worst. J came strolling in wearing white-washed jeans and a Hawaiian t-shirt. He had unruly hair and a big smile. To this day he is one of the nicest people I have ever met. I thought I had the wrong telecommuter.

He treated me to lunch and kindly trained me on all the procedures. From that day on, we worked almost perfectly together. He was always unorganized, but he was great with the customers. And I learned to clean up the debris he left behind.

J moved recently and resigned from the company but before he left, he came into the office for one last goodbye. He also wanted to make some suggestions about becoming more organized. (I laughed.)

He gave me an electronic calendar file that he "used to use for scheduling" and that I still use to this day. It was created in Excel, so I can completely customize it for my daily tasks and work schedule.

It was like he passed a sacred torch to me. This may be the key that unlocks every door to complete organization and life order. This calendar is a complete extension of me and who I am, and it can change with me at any time. If my mood today is "Screw it, I'll do that tomorrow" - there's a category for that!

I rarely forget anything, and my files are always on time. It's perfect. I'm only left with one lingering question about it... "Why wasn't J using the calendar any more?" I hope I never find out!

A Well-Oiled Machine

It's no secret that I've never exactly been the organized, responsible type. My mom is always quick to remind me of that.
Me: I can't believe this plant I have. It's just thriving!
Mom: Oh, it must be a cactus.

And my husband, who understands how I am and who I am and is wonderful enough to never directly point out my shortcomings...
Mark: You remembered to turn off the AC before leaving this morning!
Me: Of course I did! I have this house running like a well-oiled machine!
Mark: Hmm. What kind of oil are you using?

My life is kind of... a mess most days. At work I'm almost always completely organized, so why can't I approach the rest of my life the same way? I tend to just waltz through the rest, finding quick solutions to any problem, but leaving behind a trail of debris that ultimately leads to... turmoil... ok maybe not turmoil per se, but at least... distress.

My Usual Day

My Daily Schedule-
7:00am Alarm (yuck)
7:45am Finally get out of bed
7:46am Potty/Teeth Brushing
7:50am Shower
8:00am Dress
(in whatever clothes I can find in piles)
(having clothes on the dryer is one of my husband's biggest pet peeves)
8:10am Dry my hair
8:15am Throw on my sandals and run out the door to work

8:30am-5:00pm Work

5:00pm Stop at the grocery store and pick up something for dinner
5:30pm Make dinner
6:30pm Eat dinner and watch some TV
7:30pm Freelance work (or blogging - sometimes have to do this during dinner)
8:30pm (or 9:30 pm depending on how much I have to do) Relax/TV
10:30pm Brush teeth and get ready for bed
11:00pm Should be sleeping, but probably reading, watching TV, or playing a game on my iPod


Well I have to admit, now seeing my whole day plan, there are some problems. I have no "Cleaning the house" time. I also have 2 hours of "relaxation time" slotted. I could devote some of that time to exercising or cleaning.

I know one thing for sure... if I'm going to do this, I have to jump in head-first and pursue it with complete, undying motivation - enough motivation for two people (Mark and myself). I'll also need to add some variety. I know that he and I cannot go swimming every day - we'll get bored. We'll need to switch up meals, exercise, and cleaning activities daily.

We'll need a schedule... an easy-to-change schedule.

In a Perfect World

In a perfect world, this would be me...

"Ahh, how I simply love a good grocery shopping! Isn't life wonderful?" ...I realize that this woman isn't perfect. If there was a model for this portrait, I'm sure the artist had to draw her smile a little wider and leave out some wrinkles and stray hairs. -Probably had to redraw her eyes to remove a reminiscent, zombie-lake stare too.

But this is what I want, at least in some form or another. I want to be the perfect housewife. This woman probably had the luxury of dedicating her entire life to that job, but my mother and grandmother and women before them didn't have that luxury and still managed to run a beautiful home. It wasn't perfect, but it was close.

In the past, I've tried to "perfect" certain parts of my life. I've said, "I'm going to eat healthier," and I did. I said, "I'm going to keep my house clean for a week." And I did. I said, "I'm going to be more creative," and I took on 30 creative photo projects each night for a month.

The problem was that, while doing each of those things, the other 2 were neglected.

So now I want to take on something bigger. I am going to try to get my life in some kind of order - to a point where I feel fulfilled and satisfied; organized and in control.

Life.

I'm absolutely determined to get my life in order. The last few weeks have really fallen apart around me... Now I have to take on the whole world, pick up the pieces, and do this all without having a complete meltdown. Argh!