Yum!

So my busy weekend left no time for grocery shopping, but I promised myself I would cook out of that cookbook this week, so I went last night! The great thing about it is that it lists menus for a 5-day week.

Each recipe makes at least 4 servings, so for just 2 of us, I decided to make 3 meals and plan on eating leftovers the other nights of the week.

On the menu for the week:
Monday- Salmon with Fruit Salsa
Wednesday- Zucchini Frittata
Friday- Chicken & Carrot Casserole

So last night was the salmon night! I've never made it before and was really nervous. I went to the fish counter and told the woman I had never made fish before and was having some anxiety about it. She was very supportive and explained how to cook it, and told me that a lot of people feel the same way. The higher-quality salmon was on sale too, so I decided to give it a try! It was like fate.

I bought some chicken too, carrots, and egg substitute for the frittata (shh, don't tell Mark!).

The hardest part of the salmon recipe was cutting up the onion, peach, and avocado to make the fruit salsa, but it was worth it, because everything else was a breeze!


I laid the salmon in the skillet (meat down, scales up) and cooked it on 250 degrees for 10 full minutes. The recipe calls for baking it or grilling it, but we live in an apartment, the oven's broken, and the skillet worked just fine! I was so excited to be cooking salmon!!

It was at that exact moment that my fish-despising husband came in the door. He was thrilled to see me making dinner, and said, "Ooh, you're making dinner! The neighbors must be cooking fish or something..." He proceeded to make some loud barfing noises, while I laughed and later responded, "Actually, that's what I'm making."

He was open minded, though! And he loved the meal! Salmon is so mild anyway. I'm really proud of myself for trying something new and even though I'm only on meal 1, I'm thrilled with this cookbook and have high hopes for future meals. The recipes go well together, and I can use leftover salsa from the salmon meal in the frittata or leftover rice throughout the week in other meals. So far, so good!

This Week

This quote came in an email today from Story People:

everybody's dancing in place because they don't want to mess up the house since it just got cleaned

Cute. :-)

Anyway, it was quite the weekend, but I believe I successfully fulfilled all of my wifely, sisterly, daughterly, and auntly duties!

We had 2 BBQ birthday parties... fun-filled days with good food, lots of laughs, and many photo opportunities! I ate cake, played games, and had a grand old time!

Monday hit me like a bus, though, and I'm trying to get back into my routine. I've found that it's easier to pick up where I left off when I have to get back into my work day routine as well.

Since the last time I posted, I've bought some resistance bands for exercising, and the Shakeweight! The wonderful thing about the Shakeweight is that it's a great exercise tool and conversation piece. I worked out with it a lot this weekend much to the delight of my husband, friends, and family! Haha! So I've added some fun and variety to my exercising plan. For someone who's easily bored, it's great to be able to go home and try resistance bands, jump to the Shakeweight, then get on the elliptical machine all while listening to music and catching up on taped TV shows. My mind likes to be busy!

I'm going to officially implement the Quick & Healthy cookbook this week too. Money is tight after 2 birthday parties and a trip home, so I'm only going to make 2-3 meals and hopefully eat leftovers for the the rest of the week. On the menu for this week is: Chicken & Broccoli Casserole and Grilled Salmon with Fruit Salsa. Yum!

I also took TONS of photos this weekend. I'm having a blast making Polaroid-esque photos. I have just a few on the Daily Photo Blog (http://ephotonotes.blogspot.com), but I'm going to take some time tonight to put together an entire Polaroid album of the weekend's events! I also joined a photo group in our community and will be meeting up with them this Tuesday to learn more about framing! I have to make a few prints for the event, and I'm thrilled about it!

I have another busy weekend ahead (though not quite as hectic as this last one), and still want to try to volunteer some time (and some food) at the local humane society.

Though I'm completely exhausted, I'm also completely ready to put in a long week and make sure I do everything I want to do! Surprisingly or maybe not so suprisingly, I'm still in love with doing what I love to do, and it feels great!

Out!

So, last night was the first night in a long time that we actually got out of the house for dinner!

I think it was because we hadn't eaten out in so long, but the food tasted unbelievable. I'm looking forward to this next week. I got my cookbook (see previous post)! Woohoo!!

I'm going to try to make some new, healthy meals over the next week. Wish me luck! I'll be sure to update!!

Better!

So I've realized something about why I'm doing all this, about how I deal with failure or what I perceive as failure. It's like God or whoever runs this crazy universe gave me a failing grade, and I'm on this mission to prove that I can succeed.

So I'm trying to be a better person, a better wife. It would probably be the easiest thing in the world to do, if I didn't resist change so much.

I was playing the new Star Craft 2 on Friday night with my friend Kyle. [hint: We're huge nerds.]

Kyle had to keep reminding me to expand my army and build more bases, while he took over the entire map. I just wanted to stay at my own, cozy base, in my safe, little bubble and create this perfect, little world there.

Well I'm taking his advice! And I'm literally going to expand my army (of one) over the next few weeks. More outings, more pushing past barriers, and less fear! Yeah!

Weekend!

Not too much new to report for the weekend. My nephew is coming up, so he and Mark will be playing non-stop StarCraft 2.

I've decided to treat myself to some girly movies in case I get tired of kicking butt at StarCraft! Ha!

Apartment is clean, but I'm eager to get out. I don't know if we can wait until October for a vacation. Our every-day routines are getting us down.

WTF

I'm having one of those mornings where everything from last night seems like a dream... There was:

Blueberry sorbet, a golden retriever, a meditation corner, Todd from Sweet Valley High, a deaf white kitten, a swing-set, a hobo clown, a teal-colored laundry room, a Viking wedding, a woman with an Australian accent, art made from yarn and beeswax, a crying baby, Mardi-Gras beads, jello wrestling, a coworker in clown shoes, a painting of a bridge on fire, watermelon gazpacho, a Mayan calendar, and miniature margaritas.

Meals!

(click to enlarge)

So, I've been neglecting my meal planning the last few weeks... We haven't been eating too poorly, but I'm determined to come up with a better, healthier menu!

I've ordered this book from Amazon, and will start cooking my way through it hopefully next week. It has really good reviews, and the recipes in the index sounded great!

I'll keep you all updated on how it goes... I have a picky eater at home!

Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so far away...

Well, yesterday turned out to be the day from hell.

It's hard to remember everything that made it so entirely craptastic, most likely because I've repressed the awful memories. Ok, I exaggerate... a little.

I woke up exhausted. 6 hours of sleep just does not cut it for me.

I was late to work, had no time to get ready, messy hair, rainy weather, an ugh! kind of morning.

Work was okay, though we did have a few minor disasters. I got stuck there late, then on my way home remembered that we were out of bread, and Mark needed some chips for his lunch. I thought I would be a good wife and stop to do a quick shopping.

Thought I may as well grab something for dinner, and picked up some pre-breaded chicken. That would be quick.

I left the grocery store, and a big storm had rolled in, pouring rain. I saw some woman unloading her car, and she wasn't exactly dressed for the weather. I offered to return her cart for her. I thought this was a nice thing to do and that the positive energy of the universe, God, karma, or whatever would reward me for my good behavior. Instead, the cart ran over my foot and left a painful scrape on the right side of my ankle. On the bright side, I did not get struck by lightning.

I got in the car, cursed the woman, and drove home. I arrived, and Mark hadn't had time to pick up the kitchen. It wasn't too bad, but I was so done in. I picked it up, and he helped unload the dishwasher. After that, he began working on fixing my old desktop computer. We had a new hard drive, it just needed to be installed.

I went to put the chicken in the skillet, and realized I had left it at the store. [Defeated] Mark offered to go back and get it for me, but (lucky me) he ended up finding it tucked under a coat in the trunk of the car. I quickly threw it in the skillet and started making pasta salad. I was determined to keep up my routine - no matter how much the world tried to stop me.

Unfortunately, the chicken must have been some kind of new-age processed heat-resistant meat. It would NOT cook. After an hour and 15 minutes, I finally deemed it edible, and we sat down to eat. The chicken wasn't half bad, but I noticed Mark barely touched his. I asked him what was wrong, and he informed me that he does *not* eat dark meat, and that this meal would have been better with some mashed potatoes. An image flashed through my mind of me force-feeding him an entire cold chicken thigh, but I was too tired to actually attempt it.

Long story short, we ate a lot of pasta salad, my desktop computer crashed, and when I decided to finally give in and go back to my slow-running laptop, that crashed too.

We crawled into bed, I rolled over, and turned on the TV. They were showing a preview of Eat Pray Love in which Julia Roberts leaves her life behind to travel the world and go find herself.

From the other side of the bed behind me, I heard Mark mumble, "Don't get any ideas..."

I would really love to end my post with that line, but when he said it I got so upset.

For a few reasons: 1) He knows I'm that type of person, I'm a dreamer, and I love to "start over", to throw everything away at the drop of a hat, to turn my life upside down and just run away. 2) I know that scares him, and he won't admit it (though he did last night). 3) I feel like he's trying to hold me back from my dreams instead of celebrating them with me. AND 4) I know he wants the exact same thing, and if we both just let go, stopped being afraid, we could make each others' dreams come true.

And that was exactly what I mumbled to him, word-for-word, as I fell asleep. I don't remember much before I drifted off, except that he was smiling at me.

The Monday Cure

I've discovered the cure for Mondays...

1. A muffin.

2. A hot cup of tea.

3. Knowing that once this day is over, I get to go home and do whatever I want.

4. A funny Garfield comic:

Hmmm...

Went to the party store to look for ladybug stuff... didn't find much, wandered to the baby aisle. They were remodeling, so it was empty. Symbolic much? But it was okay, because the radio cut in, "There's only one way, to say, those three words. That's what I'll do. I love you." I lifted my head, smiled, and walked through it.

What if...

What if I created over 100 blogs...? ... (day dreams)

I want to make a new one already, where people could write in and ask for suggestions about their life, where people could find resources for solving their problems. Not that I have everything figured out yet (obviously)... (thinking some more)

I think it's that I feel really empowered to change my life, and I wish I could share that.

After all of these posts, I really only have 1 part of my daily life figured out - general cleaning and dinners.

I get home, and I pick up my main 3 areas. It now takes me about 5 minutes. Then we do dinner and dishes together. So, I've changed 2 hours of my day.

And I'm a different person. Already it's becoming habit. It's at the point where I don't dread it any more, it's just part of my day. It's like getting up and brushing my teeth.

It didn't always work like that, and I think I figured out why with help from the counselor. She said that we have to do what works for us, literally. Seems simple, but it's not at all. I tend to make big changes that drastically affect our lives, without taking into consideration mine or Mark's lifestyle.

I think it's key to make small changes that actually fit into our lives. And it's so hard to figure out what those changes are until we try them.

The counselor couldn't believe how much happier we seemed - after just 2 weeks of changing our evening routine. The funny thing is that, the point was to just get dinner, dishes, and cleaning done, but it turned into the perfect way to spend time together, and a time to recognize that each one of us was contributing to the household. It made us a better couple in just 2 weeks.

So now I'm working on tweaking other areas of our lives. Already, I've exercised every day this week. It's been tricky, but it is working. I'm not sure I've found the perfect place for exercising in my routine right now, but it's close, and I feel like I have the power to change and adapt to make my life exactly what I want it to be.

Things That Make Me Feel Loved 2

The other night, I came home and made a simple but nice dinner for us.

While I was getting things ready (in my clean kitchen, yeah!), Mark came in and chatted with me, and we talked about our work days. It was a fun, relaxing dinner-making experience.

Ever since I started this life order plan, I've become an insane cooking/cleaning robot - kind of like the robot maid on the Jetson's... What was her name? Ooh, I remember! Rosie!! Yep, like her. If something gets dirty, I wheel over and clean it.

Side thought: Maybe all I've done is absorb the chaos that used to be in my apartment! It had to go somewhere right?? Isn't that Newton's Law of Motion? Yes, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. No, no, maybe it's more like stored or potential energy. [Using my mind to time-travel back to my high school Physics class, but unfortunately it's the day that we're learning about convex and concave lenses... No use. Well, I'm sure it's applicable on some level or in some metaphorical way but... I'm suddenly distracted by Ben, my cute lab partner... Hmmm...]

Anyway! I know that this turns Mark's world upside down. His things are moved, and his life is all of a sudden being overtaken by me. Sure, it's more organized, but things aren't where he left them.

So, that night, I made dinner and went into general freak-out mode trying to get the main dish finished at the same time as the sides. I finally had everything cooked, ready to eat, and thought, "I didn't set the table! Or get drinks! Or, or... or..." I turned around, and...

The table was set, our drinks ready too, and Mark was standing there with his plate, ready to dig in. That's 2!

I know I'm acting crazy right now... Finding life order is surprisingly hectic, but to turn around and see that not only had he appreciated everything I've done, he even contributed to my ultimate quest for life order!

What it comes down to is, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if all of this is my way of coping with loss, or my way of grieving... And if I don't know what I'm doing, he definitely doesn't know what I'm doing. But it didn't matter - he jumped in anyway.

If this was a real quest, back in the days of knights and dragons, and I was a crazy knight, he would most definitely be my loopy sidekick... the one who followed me into the dark, evil forest, who returned with me by his side and said... (Hmm, what would he say?) Probably, "That was a really bad idea..."

*Yuuuuummm!!*

I'm a ravenous, chocolate-eating machine!!!

*Yaaaaaaaaaawn*

So I'm serious about this exercise plan. I have a few options:

I am going to *try* to walk every day at lunch. (I did today!)
If that fails, I'll have to do something at home.
At home, I can plan to do something outdoors - a walk, or go swimming.

If those things Fail, I have an "Exercise Escape Plan":

This involves stretching while watching TV. Our company's ergonomics guy said that this is OK to do, especially to take a break from exercising some nights and just do some stretching. Hmm, that sounds like a good plan for tonight - just some stretching. Probably not good to start my exercise routine with only stretching. Haha!

I know one thing for sure - if I'm going to do this, I have to implement it into one of the activities I already do (in case I don't have time). I usually get in from work and watch TV while doing more work for freelance clients. Maybe on nights with no freelance work, I can exercise during that time.

I wonder if YouTube has any fun exercise videos! Never thought of that! :-)

And maybe it would help to have an actual checklist that I check off every day for all my tasks. I really love the "Awesome Note" app for the iPod Touch or iPhone. I might start using that more. Maybe something on the blog too... off to investigate some NEW things!

Losing Momentum

So I have to say that as well as things are going, I am slightly losing momentum for this project. The thing is that, it's working right now. I've reached some level of satisfaction in what I was trying to achieve, so my brain is ready to move on to a new project.

I think the only solution is to take on a new part of the plan (maybe the exercise part), though I'm not very inspired by that idea.

The problem is that my life is still far from orderly. In fact, this morning I woke up late and had to implement the 20-minute get-ready plan!

Here are a few tips if you find yourself in the same predicament!
First, try to figure out which morning tasks you can do at the same time as other tasks. Maybe you can condition your hair while washing your face or go to the bathroom while brushing your teeth.

Personally, I tend to brush my teeth while doing lots of things, like picking out my clothes, etc.

It's also absolutely necessary to jump in the shower and wash your hair. If needed, you can skip conditioning, shaving your legs (make sure you have pants to wear), and washing your face and body. It's not ideal, but it'll do in a pinch. I've minimized my shower routine to 5 minutes! And no foul odors! Saves water too!

Skip breakfast (unfortunately). Once at the office, you can sip on coffee or water, or sneak out to grab a quick snack. Plan on buying lunch that day. You most likely won't have time to make a sandwich!

Throw on some clothes... just about anything will do. Today I found myself in the parking lot at work wearing a tank top that fits more like a sports-bra - not exactly work appropriate. Luckily I keep a spare sweatshirt in the car. It will be a little toasty around high Noon when the sun is beaming on the aluminum siding of our office building, but it'll keep Sam in IT from having a hot flash when you bump into him in the hallway sporting some serious cleavage.

If you don't have time to dry your hair, keep a headband or hair ties on hand. A quick pony tail will do. If you have bangs that curl, like I do, you may want to take the extra 2 minutes to blow dry each side of your bangs - just the front, a minute on each side. You may still appear a little frazzled (you will be), but it's better than strolling in looking like a rabid seagull flew into your car and attempted to mate with your forehead.

If needed, freshen up at the office. Throw on some makeup and try to make "frazzled" look "fun". It helps to toss your hair back and laugh or just act busy. Supervisors like that.